Do you feel nervous before a first date? That’s not unusual at all! Understanding why you feel this way can help you cope more calmly. Here are some tips to help you calm your nerves and make a good first date impression!
Imagine yourself looking in the mirror, adjusting your outfit. Your first date is coming up. Everything feels important. You're imagining every possible disaster in your head, and your heart is racing. Yes, you're full of first-date nerves.
But don’t worry! It is possible to manage tension and build good relationships. Let’s learn how to turn that tension into confidence.
Why do first dates feel tense?
Dating new people is exciting, but it can also bring with it a lot of anxiety. Find out why these feelings arise and how to deal with them.
1. Fear of judgment
The fear of being judged is a big part of the anxiety of a first date. Everyone wants to be accepted, and being judged by a potential date can be intimidating. This fear causes you to overthink every action, making it difficult to relax.
2. Social anxiety
Do you feel anxious in social situations? Meeting new people, especially romantic dates, can increase your anxiety. You may feel stressed about how to keep the conversation going, how to avoid awkward silences, and what kind of impression you are making.
3. Pressure to make an impression
There is often pressure to “do well” on a first date. You want to do your best to secure a second date, so you worry about what to wear, what to say, and how the date will go.
4. Uncertainty
If you don't know the person you're meeting or if the date location is unfamiliar, it can be a little nerve-racking. The uncertainty of how the date will go adds to the nervous energy.
5. Negative thoughts
Negative thoughts or worst-case scenarios can increase anxiety. This pessimistic outlook can overshadow the joy of meeting new people.
How to calm your nerves on a first date
We provide guides to help you relax and have a good time.
1. Change your perspective
Are you worried that you might look boring? Change your mind.
- Imagine it as if you're meeting a new friend rather than trying to impress someone. It can feel like a comfortable encounter, not a big deal.
- Focus on having a good time rather than stressing about every detail. Smile, laugh, and let the conversation flow naturally.
- Remember, they are getting to know you as much as you are getting to know them. Be comfortable expressing yourself.
2. Use items that provide comfort
If you have a good luck charm or something that brings you comfort, take it with you.
- Bring something to make you feel comfortable, like a special necklace or lucky coin.
- When you feel tense, touch or look at that object. It will feel like a small piece of something you brought from home.
- Choose clothes that you like and feel confident in. It's a simple way to feel good.
3. Prepare before the date
If you have time before your date, plan for small wins that will make you feel good.
- Listen to your favorite music and feel positive.
- Get your blood flowing with a short workout. It releases endorphins and helps relieve stress.
- Take care of yourself with a face mask or a new hair cut. Feeling good about your appearance will boost your confidence.
4. Treat yourself before the date
There’s a saying that goes, “Looking good makes you feel good.” It’s true! Before your date, spend 30 to 60 minutes doing something that makes you feel good.
Take a refreshing shower, wash with your favorite soap, or style your hair the way you like. This has nothing to do with pride, but it will help boost your confidence and ease your pre-date nerves.
- Set aside some time before your date.
- Take a relaxing shower or bath.
- Choose clothes or style your hair that make you feel confident.
5. Prepare conversation topics in advance
First dates can feel like high-stakes impromptu parties. Prepare a few conversation topics in advance to avoid awkward silences.
Think of interesting questions or topics to talk about. Maybe you recently read an interesting article or visited a cool new place. Being well-prepared will make the conversation lively and less stressful.
- Jot down some conversation starters or questions.
- Think about an experience you recently enjoyed.
- Review your list before your date to feel more prepared.
6. Contact people around you
Call a close friend or family member before your date. Talking to someone you know can help ease your nerves and boost your confidence. It can make you feel more comfortable, as if you have an extra companion.
- Call or text someone you trust.
- Share your expectations or nervousness.
- Listen to their encouragement and advice.
7. Dress comfortably and stylishly
Don't wear new clothes or uncomfortable shoes to a date. Instead, choose clothes that are stylish but comfortable. When you're comfortable, you feel confident and it shows.
- Choose clothes that you know are comfortable.
- Wear shoes that you have already worn.
- Choose clothes that make you feel good and confident.
8. Take a brief mental break
Take a break every once in a while during your date to check in with yourself. If you feel overwhelmed, go to the bathroom, look in the mirror, and remind yourself how great you are. A simple mental refresh can help you stay calm.
- Take a break when necessary.
- Look in the mirror and check yourself.
- Try giving a short encouraging message to boost confidence.
9. Pack a light snack
Being hungry and nervous can cause problems. To avoid “hunger anxiety,” enjoy a light snack before your date. This way, you won’t have to overeat when you’re hungry and distracted or anxious.
- Choose small nutritious snacks, such as fruit or yogurt.
- Avoid foods that are too heavy or oily.
- Eat about 30 minutes before your date.
10. Use the power of fragrance
Have you ever noticed that familiar smells make you feel good? This is because our sense of smell is connected to memories. Try wearing a perfume that reminds you of a good or happy moment. This will help you feel more comfortable and confident.
- Choose a scent that you like or that is associated with positive experiences.
- Apply lightly to pulse points such as the wrist or neck.
- Reapply as needed, but be careful not to overuse.
11. Arrive a little early
Arriving a few minutes early for your date can help you feel more comfortable. Use this time to explore the place, find a comfortable seat, and take a deep breath. Arriving a little early can help you feel more comfortable and in control.
- Please arrive 5-10 minutes before your date.
- Check out the location and choose a seat.
- Take a deep breath and calm your mind.
Mindfulness Practices to Relax on a First Date
Are you anxious about your first date? Mindfulness can help! Mindfulness is all about staying present and relaxed. Here are some ways to use mindfulness to ease the stress of your first date and make a good impression.
1. Deep breathing exercises
You're sitting outside, distracted and looking at your phone. Stop for a moment, close your eyes and try the 4-7-8 breathing technique:
- Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds.
- Hold your breath for 7 seconds.
- Exhale slowly through your mouth for 8 seconds.
Repeat this four times. This is like pressing the pause button on your fast-paced thoughts, and it will help you feel more relaxed before you go inside.
2. Visualization
Before the date:
- Close your eyes and imagine everything going perfectly.
- I picture soft conversation, lots of laughter, and a comfortable atmosphere.
This kind of mental rehearsal will boost your confidence and create a positive atmosphere.
3. Sensory concentration technique
When you feel anxious, try the following:
- Focus on your senses with the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise
- Five things you see
- Four things you can touch
- Three things you can hear
- Two things you can do
- One thing you can taste
This technique helps shift your attention from stress to the present moment.
4. Mindfulness Meditation
Investing just a few minutes can make a big difference:
- Find a quiet place.
- Close your eyes.
- Focus on your breathing.
This will help you center yourself and go into the date with a calm mind.
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